Dealing with Unreturned Phone Calls

Last week my contact management software reminded me to call Lois. She is the logical point of contact at a firm where I would like to do business. I have known Lois for five years and her boss for six. Over those years I have made 25 calls to one or the other of them, and exactly five have been returned. The last time I spoke with Lois, she informed me that they were working with a competitor. That was almost three years ago. Since then all efforts to contact Lois and her boss by phone have gone into a void. A few e-mails lobbed in for variety have also received no response.

What should I do? What would you do?

The answer, of course, depends on the reason my calls have gone unreturned. A little voice inside me says that Lois and her boss want nothing to do with me. But I have learned through many years of experience that it is the voice of my own insecurities. More probably, they find us too expensive and are uncomfortable saying so. Or they realize that my calls are not urgent and treat them as such. Or they are just busy. Still, three years is a long time. Whatever the reason, I have little enthusiasm for making the call. Another little voice inside me says that this is a waste of time, that nothing will ever come of calling these people. Once again, experience responds, cautioning me that one more call will cost me little, to which the first little voice says that a time comes to give up and refocus one’s energies elsewhere.

My deliberations were interrupted, and I put off deciding what to do.
This is a true story about a client I have been pursuing, except Lois’s name came up on my tickler file a couple of months ago, not last week. I did call and this time Lois called me back to invite me to pitch on some work. There was only one competitor and our chances of winning were good. Today she called to give us the go ahead.

I have many such stories after 30 years of business development. Over the years I have learned that an unreturned phone call means that someone did not return my call and little more. Others reinforce this belief. Christy Williams, a friend of mine, ran into a contact she had been trying to reach for months, leaving many messages. All her calls went unreturned. When she met the man at a conference, he greeted her enthusiastically saying that he had recently referred her to a prospective client. She thanked him and said, “Let’s stay in touch.” “What do you mean?” he responded, “We’ve been in touch.” He equated her unreturned phone calls with their being in touch.

A big part of rain making is persistence. Still, several times a week a name comes up on my tickler system of someone who has not responded to previous calls. And still, after all these years, the little voice inside me says to give up, that it is not worth the effort, that the person doesn’t like me and doesn’t want to talk with me. It is by learning to override that voice that I have become successful.

3 Responses to “Dealing with Unreturned Phone Calls”

  1. Charles H. Green Says:

    Ford, welcome to the blogosphere! It is good to have your voice–and your experience, and lessons.

    One thing I like about this posting is the powerful reminder that we are never quite as much at the center of everyone else’s universe as we might think we are.

    We’re generally not as good as we think we are, nor as bad as we think we are. What we can be sure of is that others just don’t think of us at all as much as we think they do! And as you point out, there is freedom in that. Freedom to just pick up the phone and dial and find out the truth, whatever it may be.

  2. Ford Harding Says:

    I have reflected on why I (like most people) think that other people think about me more than they do. Why should that be? Becaue I think about myself quite often, and so assume others do, too. And why do I think about myself so much? Probably because I spend so much time with myself. I am with myself practically every day, so of course I am led to think about me. Clients, who spend much less time with me naturally think of me less often. Am I on to something here, Charlie?

  3. David Maister Says:

    Great blogposts so far, Ford! We’ll all look forward to more.

    I think you’re onto something very important here.

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