(This post is adapted from the second edition of Ford Harding’s book Rain Making: Attract New Clients No Matter What Your Field, due for publication later this month. It will contain forty percent new content.)

This is how one aspiring rainmaker learned a lesson the hard way.  To understand it, you have to know a little bit about the built environment industry.

On every corporate move from one building to another, and especially to a new site on which the company constructs a new building, a gaggle of firms make their money.  There are building and real estate owners, lawyers, real estate brokers, and flocks of architects; civil, structural, electrical and mechanical engineers; interior designers, endless construction prime and subcontractors, furniture dealers, building material suppliers, and telephone systems suppliers. 

Almost every project requires at least one of each of these categories.  Many moves also require smaller, specialty firms, such as archeologists, moving and elevator and acoustics specialists, and many others.  Not wanting all of this gaggling flock to show up, honking and hissing on their doorstep every day, the company’s real estate managers keep the plans to move a secret for as long as they can.

With so much money at stake, so many kinds of firm and so many firms within each kind, and with so many secrets to figure out, one would expect that there would be well established networks sharing information and introductions.  And there are.

One aspiring rainmaker, working for an engineering firm and trying to develop new business, got wind of a firm planning to move a 50,000 square foot office between suburbs.  This knowledge gave him a chit to offer to a small number people in his market.  He chose to give it to the most successful architect in the region, who achieved this status through his rainmaking prowess.

That architect, whom I will refer to as Thomas, thanked him and took him to lunch at his club, and asked him about his business and the projects the engineer had worked on.  Thomas, an old pro and a charmer, knew all the right questions to ask.  The engineer felt that Thomas would include his firm on one of its pursuit teams in the near future.  He believed he was moving up into big-time business development, and it felt good.

When he learned two weeks later that Thomas had included his competitor on a team pursuing a 100,000 square foot office project, he felt betrayed.  He felt that Thomas had used him to get the 50,000 square foot project and was now dumping him for another engineering firm.

But, that belief was misinformed.  Thomas realized that he owed the engineer and planned to return the help given when the timing was right.  He put the other engineer on the 100,000 square foot project, because his debt to that person was great and went back many years. 

Thomas is what we at Harding & Company refer to as the full-up contact.  Full-up contacts are almost always old hands at networking.  They have huge networks and both give and receive many leads.  It’s hard for a newcomer to break into the full-up contact’s clique for giving and receiving referrals, because to do so, he has to push out an entrench competitor.

The answer is to focus your attentions on other people who are coming up the learning curve as you are.  Catch enough rising stars early in their careers and pretty soon you will be the full-up contact making tough choices about where to dole out your favors.

Does that seem like a long, slow process?  It may be, but to win at networking you have to pay your dues.

In my last posting, I described three kinds of people (beagles, babblers, and big shots) who will highjack a sales meeting by talking at length. They do so regardless of agreements made in a rehearsal to hold back until you understand the client’s issues. In this posting I will suggest some ways for dealing with them.

As I prepare to write these recommendations, I am reminded of an office I once saw of a high school literary magazine that had a banner with publication’s motto boldly displayed over its three desks: Our Best Is None Too Good! Before providing suggestions on how to deal with those who highjack sales meetings, I must caution you that though these are the best suggestions we have, they won’t work in many cases. Hijackers are tough to deal with.

Here are some things your can try:

Don’t bring the hijacker: See if you can bring someone else who can fill the role the hijacker plays on the team. Though this would be my first choice, it often isn’t possible. The firm may have but one thought leader on the subject the client is most interested in. The hijacker may be the head of the practice and so gets to decide who goes. There can be many reasons why you must bring him. Still, the potential for leaving him at the office is worth brief consideration. At the very least it allows you to daydream about the possibility for a few pleasant minutes.

Plan and rehearse: Carefully plan out who will do what for how long and then rehearse as if this were the plan that everyone will follow. Plans and rehearsals seldom stop a hijacker, but when you apply one of the other techniques, the hijacker will be more likely realize where you are goings and sometimes fall in line.

Bring someone who outranks the hijacker: You may not be able to control the hijacker, but someone more senior in the firm might. This is particularly true of the “big shot” described in my preceding posting. Big shots may walk on people lower in the hierarchy than they are, but usually kowtow to those more senior.

Rehijack the meeting: At the appropriate moment—such as when the hijacker pauses to take a breath—say something like, “Thank you, Scott. That provides the big picture of the way these issues are addressed. I would now like to focus our conversation on the specifics of your (i.e., the client’s) situation. Please, describe . . . “ If you are seated, it is best to stand when you seize control of the meeting this way. If you are standing at the back move forward. This language identifies you as the practical manager of the effort, implying that the hijacker’s role is to provide the big picture.

This approach is most likely to work with “beagles” and “babblers” and especially if there is an agreed upon and rehearsed plan for the meeting. On the downside, it risks the appearance of an argument among the members of your team, which is almost certain to result in the client choosing someone else. So, think carefully about how the hijacker is likely to react, before you try it. I would not attempt this approach with most “big shots.”

Don’t give up control until the client has set direction: Briefly introduce yourself and your colleagues, stating why each one is present. Then, ask the client what she how she prioritizes her concerns, by offering a slide or page of a document that lists alternatives. Say, for example, “These are the issues that most companies concerned with the effectiveness of their sales forces have. Which, if any stand out to you?” The list might read:

The client will then prioritize issues. If your colleague hijacks the meeting now, at least he will be talking about the issue the client feels is most important.

This approach relies on knowing enough about the client’s problem to prepare an issues list and on keeping the hijacker from talking at all until the client says what he is most concerned with. These are big ifs, but I have seen the approach work and, notably, seen it work when a junior person is trying to control someone more senior.

Split one meeting into two: If you can arrange to have a first meeting to talk about broad issues and a second to work out details specific to the client’s situation, you can sometimes go to the second without the hijacker. You might, of course, never get to a second meeting.

Dealing with sales meeting hijackers remains a tough issue. I would be interested in hearing about other techniques. If you have one, please leave a comment.

This article is by Mimi Spangler, a partner at Harding & Company.  Some of the material in this posting appears in  the second edition of Ford Harding’s book, Rain Making, which will be published in February and contains about 40 percent new content.  

This is the first in a series of eight blog posts on networking for women. These entries originally appeared as an article in Management Consulting News.

Becoming a rainmaker gives a consultant three coveted advantages: respect from one’s peers, high earnings, and job control. To find out how women rainmakers optimize networking to support their business development endeavors, we interviewed women who have risen to the executive management ranks in leading consulting firms such as Deloitte Consulting, Watson Wyatt Worldwide, Oliver Wyman, Navigant Consulting, RHR International, and others.

Our findings are summarized in this series of blog posts with the top eight ways women rainmakers network.

1. Create a Peer Group

Most women rainmakers reported that they don’t target women who have connections. Their closest and strongest networks include friendships built on a common framework, which often started from personal rather than business interests.

Jocelyn Cunningham, Securities Leader for Deloitte Consulting, said that one of her closest networks is an intimate group of senior-level women focused on Wall Street. She said, “I initially was intimidated to network with men. I didn’t want to golf and I found myself waiting for the invite to events versus inviting myself. I was comfortable with this group of women. We had things in common like work/life balance, childcare, and glass ceiling issues. Our group has formed strong personal and business relationships which have grown by sharing common challenges and professional interests.”

Christina Williams was Managing Director for an international human resource consulting firm and now has her own firm, Atiara Group. She explained that her primary network of contacts evolved from her feeling isolated as a woman and working mom in a male-dominated leadership group.

Williams started her network with one outside consultant who shared similar life and professional issues. They invited other colleagues to join their informal breakfast meetings. The group initially met four times per year. Now it has over 150 consultants and clients and meets every six weeks. About 30 people show up for the two-hour meetings.

While being senior management women forged their initial bond, the result of their network has been peer camaraderie, referrals, and work for their firms. The women in this and similar groups all share a common goal to help and support each other.

Surprisingly though, a significant number of the women interviewed said that they don’t use their closest networks for direct business development. The value of those networks is primarily peer friendships, with work referrals ranking significantly behind that.

Many of the large consulting firms have recognized this need for women’s peer support, and are giving more attention to establishing internal women’s networking groups that foster relationships built on common interests and challenges.
 Mimi Spangler is a partner at Harding & Company, which helps professionals learn to develop business. She has worked with consultants at many firms, both large and small. For more information, visit the company’s web site at http://www.hardingco.com/ and blog at www.hardingco.com/blog. Spangler can be reached at mspangler@hardingco.com.

Professionals I work with often complain about colleagues who hijack sales meetings by ignoring agreed upon plans and dominating the conversation, barely allowing the client a chance to talk. This problem is especially hard to deal with if the talker outranks everyone else on the firm’s team.

This posting will describe three kinds of hijackers. My next posting will describe some ways to deal with them.
There are many reasons that a person will highjack a meeting. In planning how to deal with them, it often helps to see if they fit any of the following three types: beagles, babblers and big shots.

Beagles

It’s hard not to like beagles. Small, cheerful and friendly, they win a place in your heart. Smart, they quickly learn to behave, or so it seems . . . until they see a rabbit.

Upon seeing a rabbit, centuries of breeding short circuit every other thought in a beagle’s head. RABBIT! Off goes the beagle in pursuit sounding his wonderful bay. “Heel!” you may command, but something in a beagle’s head screams “RABBIT.” “Sit!” you yell. RABBIT is what the beagle hears.

You can shout, stamp your foot, threaten, cry, cajole or do whatever else you may think of, but RABBIT overwhelms everything. RABBIT! RABBIT! So overpowering is this genetically based focus on RABBIT that there is little you can do except watch the hunt.

Fortunately, rabbits usually run in circles. If you can find the center of the circle, chances are the dog won’t be far away.

Some professionals behave in much the same way when a client raises a specific issue. Everything short circuits and they begin to pitch whatever it is they specialize in. FORECAST! (or INTELECTUAL PROPERTY PROTECTION or ASBESTOS REMMEDIATION or whatever).

You may have agreed to sit back and hear what the client has to say before talking yourselves. No matter. That agreement is overwhelmed by the word, FORECAST!

Thought leaders often exhibit this behavior. They seem to feel that all clients hunger to hear their knowledge of a subject. Firms reinforce that belief by trotting them out to talk about their specialty at marketing events.

Like beagles, these people aren’t malicious. Rather, it is as if they have been bred for one purpose, to talk about their specialty.

Babblers

My wife is a second grade teacher. Every fall she must get her young scholars, who have run wild and free all summer, adjusted to the limits of the classroom.

On the first day of school last September, she told a talkative seven year old, “Now, Rachel, remember that in school you can’t just talk whenever you want to. You have to wait for the teacher to call on you.” To which Rachel replied, “You know, . . . I had the same problem last year.” One imagines Rachel having the same problem for a long time to come.

Rachel isn’t the only one who talks too much in spite of reminders. Some professionals suffer from the same malady. The babbler may be an extreme extrovert who gets such a high off of human contact that he talks away, missing the chance to learn about the person he is addressing.

In other cases, the babblers confuse the deference we show to those in power with interest in what they have to say. I can think of at least one hierarchical firm where promotion to partner increases a person’s prolixity even more than it does his paycheck.

This isn’t the talk of a young person who seeks to prove herself or who just doesn’t know techniques for getting the other person to talk. (See He Talks Too Much.) This is the talk of a person who believes, often mistakenly, that other people want to hear what he has to say, of a person who sees a conversation as an opportunity to sound forth rather than to take in.

These people seldom realize they have a problem. Last summer I was asked to coach a former CEO turned executive recruiter. When I cautioned him about talking too much, he looked at me as if I were crazed and then proceeded to talk in almost a monologue for two hours, starting with a denial of his talkativeness, before rambling from subject to subject.

Big Shots

Big shots are firm partners who sell aggressively and believe that there is no other way. They dominate in sales meetings, because they always dominate. If another partner says, “Green,” they are likely to say, “Red.” They have personally landed most of the firm’s major clients and developed it’s most profitable services . . . just ask them. Actually, you don’t even have to ask.

They also knew all along that a hurricane would wreck New Orleans, advised Bush not to go into Iraq (by way of a close personal friend who knows a cabinet member who passed the advice on to the president), taught Robin Williams how to be funny and could bring peace between the Palestinians and the Israelis, if someone would just let them.

After dominating a sales meeting, they will tell you that you should have spoken up more. They cannot see their domineering behavior as having anything to do with your silence.

These are the three common kinds of hijackers. In a future posting I will suggest some ways to deal with them.

As someone who writes and thinks a lot about selling, I’m well aware that where there has been a sale there surely has been trust first.

I’m honored to be hosting the January 2008 Carnival of Trust. The Carnival of Trust is a monthly blog carnival created by Charlie Green, co-author with David Maister and Robert Galford of The Trusted Advisor, which focuses on the topic of building valued relationships with clients and the author of Trust-Based Selling, which is about the role of trust in sales.

There were many excellent submissions, making it difficult to winnow the list down to just 10. Here are my selections:

Tip of the Week—Do You Have Integrity
Susan Cartier Libel points out that when you are a sole practitioner, integrity takes on new importance. I wish the author and pondered the subject a bit longer.  There is more to be said on this subject, so I hope she pursues this issue further.

How do Women Buy Services?
Mike McLaughlin reports briefly on preliminary, but interesting, findings on how gender affects how people buy services.  One of the findings is that trust matters more to women than to men.  One wants to learn more than this short piece offers.

Do You Trust Your Boss?
We often hear about background checks on new employees, about employee theft and other indications that employees can’t be trusted.  Well, Boss, it’s your turn.  You have to earn trust, too, and, usually your actions are more visible because they have greater impact.  Every boss should read this post by Kelly Spores of the WSJ.

David Anderson on Trust
Well worth the read, though the author (Pascal Van Cauwenberghe) is reporting on messages that come from Anderson.  Anderson has a list of ways to earn trust that is a good starting point for anyone trying to build it.

Trust on Social Networks
David Mead addresses an issue that is on many people’s minds these days: how can social networks function without trust and how can you build trust into an electronic system?  This may well be the issue on which social networks stand or fall.

Who You Know
Seth Godin’s compelling point is made more so by its brevity.

Trust is the Business Word for Love
Another fresh idea delivered with clarity and brevity from Brad Feld. This one is a bit cute, but I like it.  The author didn’t originate this idea, but mined the gem that others had missed in another person’s commentary, which is a real contribution. But Mr. Feld, don’t you know not to give away your punch line in the title?

Building Community—Trust Begets Trust
This posting by Don Frederiksen is as much about the value of catch phrases as it is about trust.  The longest discussion of this value happens to be about the catch phrase “Trust Begets Trust.”  Still, it’s a catchy little read.

How to Achieve the Ultimate Credibility
Bonnie Budzowski wrote a gripping post about her daughter’s bike accident and the helicopter ride to the hospital.  It’s memorable because the argument is made with a story that brings Budzowski’s points to life.

A Very Long Post on How to Rebuild Trust
Hugo Schwyzer tackles an important subject and has valuable things to say about it.   He tells it straight with the story of his own life.  He seeks no sympathy, but offers hope.
 

Responding to our May 30, 2007 posting, Lessons from Maurie: Fee Negotiation, Glenn Mickle, an accountant and consultant based in Australia, has sent some helpful suggestions for negotiating fees. Here they are. Thank you, Glenn:

I have recently started with a regional accountancy/business advisory firm in NewSouth Wales, Australia as their marketing manager after a previously successful career in wedding and portrait photography. I see many parallels. Very busy staff coupled with downward pressure on fees from a competitive market.

In my previous career the first question was often “How much does it cost to have a family portrait taken?” My response “Far and away the cheapest way to do it is to take it yourself.” Then I would be quiet. The next question was usually “Well actually we’d like you to take it because we’ve seen what you can do.” This is OK once you have established a reputation for good work. Much like Maurie’s “Let me help you find someone cheaper” story, there is always someone cheaper. I would also sometimes hear ‘The guy down the road does free sittings.” My response: “Well he’d have a better idea than I would as to what his skills are worth.”

The question of ‘How much?’ is often a way for the client to appear in charge of the situation and for them to appear knowledgeable on the subject. If we find other ways for them to show their knowledge (for example, asking them what their preferences or priorities are and what they’d like to get out of this transaction) they forget about the price and start to focus on the value they are after.

I’m reminded of another hint given to me some years ago which I think fits nicely into your discussion. Here’s what to do when asked one those prickly questions like “Why does it cost $XXX?” Instead of getting on our soapbox and rattling off the many virtues of our products, skills and services blah, blah, blah, our response should be along the lines of “Why do you ask?” Then we find the real reason for the question, which might be “Well last year it was more expensive and I wondered why it was so cheap!”

Cheers to you and yours Ford, and have a Merry Christmas from us down under.