Are Deep Relationships the Only Ones that Count?
Monday, May 5th, 2008Most rainmakers work large networks. The size of the networks varies with the profession—executive recruiters who sell a lot of searches in a year need more contacts than do actuaries with their evergreen services—but networks over of 1,000 are common enough.
With that many contacts, most of the relationships by necessity are . . . well . . . shallow.
Shallow when modifying relationships has distinctly negative connotations. Yet, we all have relationships that, though not deep, are good and sustaining in their own way. This is not to deny the importance of deep relationships. Rather, I bring this up, because I sometimes work with professionals who are so focused on deep relationships that they forget the value they can give and receive from ones that will never be deep.
The characteristics of a good, though not-deep relationship include mutual respect as people and as professionals and commitment to help each other, if in limited ways. They do not need to include shared interests beyond the narrow field in which the two people network together.
At this level the born-again Christian and the atheist give to each other and get back. The sports nut and the ballet buff work to make each others’ lives better. People whose countrymen are at each others’ throats look out for each others’ welfare.
This is not a utopian vision. It exists in many heavily networked markets. It is not a formula for world peace, but can make our lives more interesting and rewarding.
Remember one more thing about these less than profound relationships: Anyone who has been out of work or had a personal crisis learns that it is not always the people you expected to who help you the most. Sometimes the deep relationships are not as deep as we had thought and some of the shallow ones aren’t so shallow.
