Ten Steps to Dealing with a Bad Reference
Years ago I was put in charge of a practice that was losing pitch after pitch to one competitor. We turned it around and, in time, were winning more than we lost.
One contributor to the fix was Matthew. Matthew was the CEO of an insurance company who had hired our competitor, fired them and hired us to finish the job. He was willing to compare his experiences with the two firms, and we used him as a reference again and again.
Your competitor isn’t always the one who refers the client to the bad reference. I once helped a client hire a real estate brokerage firm. Three firms presented their qualifications and two stood out as better qualified. I asked each for three references and called them all. One was critical of the service he had received. “They seemed to be over committed. They were slow to return phone calls and in getting things done. I wouldn’t work with them again,” he said. The client went with the other firm.
Never ignore a bad reference. It can undermine everything else you do, Here are some ways to deal with one.
Don’t use them:
If you have the slightest suspicion that someone may be giving you a bad reference, don’t use them. When you pick a reference, you don’t want someone who will hurt you or who will be even-handed; you want an advocate. If you think that a competitor may be referring prospective clients to a bad reference, check it out. Have a close friend hire you for a modest amount and have her check the reference.
Send a fresh face:
Have someone from the firm, preferably someone senior whom the bad reference hasn’t met before, call and say that she has heard the reference is unhappy with the firm and wants to meet to hear what happened. A nonparticipant in the former work will get better information, because people often feel inhibited talking directly to someone about his shortcomings. The fresh face will remind the client simply by her presence that he is hurting people who have done him no harm when he lambasts your firm. A high-level person calling the client will show the issue’s importance to the firm.
Let him vent:
At this meeting, your colleague should let the client vent any frustration he feels. This requires listening without defending the firm or its staff. If your colleague can express empathy without agreement with what the client says, she should do so. (“I can see this whole affair has left you highly frustrated.” “If I believed someone had done that to me, I’d be pretty upset, too.”) Venting will sometimes relieve the client’s need to be heard on the issue. Once he gets that behind him, he may not badmouth as frequently or as strongly as in the past.
Confirm that the client has been heard:
Your colleague should concisely restate what the client has said, so he will know he has been heard.(“Let me repeat what I have heard, so I can be sure I got it right.”)
Respond when it is appropriate to do so:
The colleague should thank the client for his time and for sharing his concerns. If she is able to respond then and there, fine. More typically she promises to look into the accusation and get back to him by a specific date. If pressured, she should reiterate that the situation obviously needs looking into and make amends. This is especially true if there might be legal implications as a result of acknowledging fault.
Explain any misunderstandings:
Do so without blaming the client. (“Actually, Peter was right in not giving you the information you asked for. Doing so would have broken the law. Unfortunately, that was never made clear to you.”)
Allow the client to save face, if he was in error:
Bend over backwards to be understanding towards a client’s mistake. His pride will often be salvaged by words like, ”Well, I guess this wasn’t the finest hour of either of our organizations.”
Consider apologizing when your firm was in error:
Consult a lawyer before doing so. Most people appreciate an apology and will think better of you for making one, if you were at fault. It can go a long way to healing a wound. If you are at fault, you may not be able to better the situation without one.
Do something nice:
If the client seems amenable to making up, consider sending flowers or a gift certificate to a nice restaurant, as a way to compensate him for personal aggravation. Before doing so, make sure that there is no policy at the client’s company that would make accepting such a gift improper.
Allow time to pass:
Over time we all tend to lose our anger over trespasses committed against us in our lives. With the perspective that time gives, we often see that we weren’t entirely without blame, ourselves. This is true of clients, too. Go out of your way to be friendly and helpful to an unhappy client and eventually you will win him over. You may even win him back.
