Awkward Requests
Sometimes we want to ask a favor, but feel awkward doing so. Perhaps we don’t know the person well or they’ve already done a lot for us, so asking for more might seem greedy. Whatever the reason, you don’t want to put the other person on the spot with a direct request.
Sometimes you can resolve the problem by asking indirectly. Words you can use for this purpose include:
Can I ask you for some advice?
Could I ask you for a little mentoring?
To be asked for advice or mentoring is a compliment, the person asked being attributed superior knowledge, judgment or experience. Also the person asked has great latitude in choosing a response. She can spend ten minutes or an hour with you. She can simply give you a few words to the wise or open her contact list to you.
Sometimes a contact will help beyond the expectations of the person making the request. Gabriela, an executive recruiter, ran into a former client at a conference and asked him for some mentoring on business development. He immediately began introducing her to other people he knew at the conference, describing her work as a recruiter in ways that would have sounded immodest coming from her.
Caution! Do not use this approach indiscriminately. If it is seen as simply a ruse to get introductions, the contact will feel you are being manipulative as opposed to tactful. Only use these words with someone whose advice or mentoring you would legitimately value. That way you won’t come across as false. If all you come away with from the conversation is some good advice, you should be thankful. After all, that is all you asked for.