Gotcha! How Not to Begin a Relationship
Starting a new relationship with someone who you have no explicit reason for contacting is one of the most difficult steps in selling professional services. Almost as hard is advancing a relationship with someone you know hardly at all. This isn’t just for of the professions; it is characteristic of business in general.
I just got off the phone with someone seeking to become my financial advisor. At the beginning of the call, I told him that I was not interested in a sales call at this time. He assured me that it wasn’t his purpose to sell me anything. But, of course, at the end of the call, he couldn’t resist trying to do so with a we-can-help-you-with-that offer at the end. This offer had, also of course, been the sole purpose of the 10 minutes of gobbledygook which preceded it. In short, he was trying to begin relationship by lying to me about the purpose of this call and wasted my time in the process. Did he think that I would turn over my money to someone who tried to deceive me the very first time he spoke with me?
It amazes me how common this is and how many forms it comes in. Those mass mailings that come with what looks like a handwritten note, sometimes on a yellow sticky, saying “you should see this” or something similar, are another example. They try to trick you into believing that the document was forwarded to you by a business colleague or friend.
When employing tactics to meet someone or to warm up a tepid relationship, the professionals must do nothing of this kind. I suspect that even the word, tactics, will make some readers blanch, so let me give an example. Asking for advice is one frequently recommended way to get in front of someone you don’t know well to warm up a relationship. This can be effective with two cautions. First, only do this with someone whose advice you would value on the subject in question. If the advice asking is used simply as a ploy, there is a good chance that the contact will catch on and shun you thereafter. Second, never, never try to turn the advice-seeking conversation into a sales call. You should only talk about how your services can help the contact, if he explicitly asks you to do so, and even then with some reluctance. (I didn’t come here today to sell you anything, but if you want we can talk a little about . . .).
You never want the contact to come away from a meeting with the feeling that you left it thinking, “Gotcha!”
October 5th, 2009 at 7:37 AM
Ford-
Fantastic post. It is when we truly focus on the relationship instead of the sale that the best sales are made. Oftentimes these new friends turn into clients, yielding years of repeat business. I’ll take that over a one-time sale any day.
Tim Klabunde
October 5th, 2009 at 5:39 PM
Absolutely true. To many “cold calls” are just that. Things of course work differently when you start the process with an attitude of giving without expectation of return. As well, if you have a truly valid business reason for an initial communications, of course it makes sense to call even if it is totally cold.
I still recall one situation where, at a planned meeting with a major association, the then association chair (who happened to also be the representative of a competing business) told me that he would like me to leave town — and so would he like another competitor (to him, not me) to depart.
I phoned, cold, that competitor’s office, got put through to someone in charge, relayed my story, and we decided that we had good reason to connect — and the relationship has continued for almost two decades.
October 7th, 2009 at 7:19 AM
Mark:
Though wrong-headed, at least the guy was being honest with you.
Ford