As you say, focusing on the other person is the key. Someone once advised me to imagine myself as a host who wants to help others have a good time. Thanks for the comment.

Ian:

I like your approach to this. The concept of speed dating never appealed to me and too often networking events feel that way.

Ford Harding

Over the years, I’ve gained the confidence to ask questions outside the business sphere. Doing this helps to make a personal connection that goes beyond what can become a quite mechanistic “what do you do?”. In fact, some business networking events seem like conveyor belts where everyone spends 2 minutes with everyone else, asks “what do you do?”, tells them what they do, then moves on without ever really engaging with the other person.

Even asking about the weather, the news, where they came from, sports, etc. can spark a more interesting conversation. And that means they’ll remember you.

At some point you do need to transition to a more business focused discussion. I’ve not found a perfect segue yet. Currently, when the time feels right, I just say “well, I guess we ought to do the old ‘what do you do?’ thing”. (but then perk up my interest level when they tell me).

Ian

What I found that works and which your new tactics describe is to stop thinking about myself and start thinking about the other person. When you show genuine interest in someone else, it not only opens conversational opportunities, but stops the self-consciousness that often plagues introverts in social situations. And the information and insights gleaned from these conversations are often satisfying.

Thanks for this post and the other great information and opportunities for thought your blog has provided me.

These are all good suggestions. If they are on LinkedIn, their bio also may contain useful information.

Ford Harding