Professionals seldom debate sales ethics.  This is especially true during the hot pursuit of an opportunity, when there is pressure to make quick judgments about what claims to make. 

A prospective client asks how well a professional firm knows banks.  One of the firm’s professionals answers, “Quite well.  Over a quarter of our revenues came from the banking industry last year.”  If she had been given  the chance to speak first, his colleague would have felt compelled to say, “We have only worked for one bank, but it was our largest client last year.”  Both statements are accurate, but they leave a prospective client with quite different impressions.  The professionals make different choices in the tradeoff between accuracy and precision, a subject which I have discussed elsewhere.  

Here I address the problem of discussing what is an ethical answer.  The two professionals didn’t debate the subject in advance, because they didn’t know the question would be asked.  And they will probably also avoid the discussion later, because the answer by then is a fait accompli.  If Professional One knows that Professional Two would reject his answer, he will probably think her prudish, while Professional Two feels that Professional One’s choice of words is unprincipled.  Recognizing that accusations, whether spoken of implied, about a colleague’s prudishness or lack of principles is likely to turn ugly, they simply don’t talk about it.  The more senior person gets his way.  Or the one who speaks first sets the standard.  That isn’t the way to resolve ethical concerns.
 
I am not arguing for either answer here.  Professional One may realize that his, though true, is potentially misleading, but believe that a little finessing is as acceptable in selling as bluffing is in poker.  Professional Two may feel that anything short of the barest truth is dishonest.  Both are defensible positions and do not necessarily reflect a lack of integrity by either professional. 

Note that different clients might respond differently to the two answers, were they to know the whole truth.  One might be a bluffer, herself, and appreciate good bluffing in selling, as much as she does when playing poker or buying something at an oriental bizarre.  She may feel that the first answer proves the savviness of the professional, a trait she may value.  Another buyer might feel he has been betrayed if told anything short of the starkest truth. 

My concern is that if the issue is not discussed, it leads to permanent misunderstanding about what management considers acceptable sales behavior and what is not.  In the absence of that discussion, the bluffs may get bigger to the point that they become bald lies.  (The professional claims that his firm worked for fourteen banks when it has actually only worked for one.)  And the true statements can become more and more detailed, to the point that they never put the firm in a good light.  (The professional not only states that the firm has only worked for one bank, but then adds four reasons why that case is not relevant to the one at hand.)  I have seen both occur during my career and both are destructive to a firm’s reputation and its ability to get business.  They inhibit the firm’s ability to develop a unified sales culture.

To avoid this, I suggest the following:

• Openly discuss appropriate sales behavior from time to time, but focus the discussion on developing appropriate standards for the firm, rather than on accusations about personal morals, sophistication or attitudes.  Talking about standards helps depersonalize the conversation.
• Welcome discussions of sales standards when someone else brings up the subject, regardless of how cautiously.
• Recognize that, while we can all agree that there are standards that are unacceptable, it is legitimate and probably good for the firm for people to believe in different standards, because firm standards should be challenged from time to time.
• Make it clear that the firm has standards that it will hold to, even if doing so requires reprimanding a senior person.  Make those standards clear. 

If you are uncomfortable discussing sales ethics or clearly stating firm standards, that, by itself, should be cause for reflection.

(As in previous years, I will only be posting once a week in July and August.)

The word etiquette has a dated, your-great-Aunt-Martha sound.  Not that etiquette, itself, is out of date; the need for it is greater than ever.  But the word is seldom used today, replaced by the planer manners, or by some circumlocution.  Etiquette is no longer taught in school, though behavior or conflict management sometimes is, and a good hunk of that subject turns out to be etiquette, barely disguised.

So, I was surprised to find speaker, Rachel Wagner, listing herself as an etiquette coach on the agenda of a meeting of the SMPS Oklahoma Chapter.  Can one actually make a living using those words to describe yourself, I wondered.  I also reflected on the importance of etiquette in selling professional services.  When  you are selling professional services, at the very least it:

•    Ensures you show all you deal with appropriate respect,
•    Helps you get through potentially awkward situations,
•    Shows you to be a socially adept, considerate person.

This made me want to talk with Ms. Wagner, even more.  (I would normally have called her simply Wagner at this point, but because I am writing about an etiquette, I decided to err on the polite side and include the Ms.)  In this post, I will share our initial interview.  In a second, to appear in about a month, I will present her with several potentially awkward selling situations to see how she would react with no time to prepare.  After all, an etiquette expert should be able to deal with unexpected, tetchy situations with aplomb.  She, good sport, has accepted the challenge.

Q: How did you get interested in etiquette and become an expert in it?

Wagner: Etiquette has always been a topic of great interest—my office bookshelves are proof! So, after a successful teaching career, I traded my 8th grade classroom for the corporate training room.   My ultimate goal was to attend the Protocol School of Washington (PSOW) in Washington, D.C. which I did in 2006 and received certification as a Corporate Etiquette and International Protocol Consultant. I consider myself a continual learner in all areas of business etiquette, and I work hard at keeping up with the most contemporary, universally-accepted business etiquette, especially in fast-changing areas like on-line communications.

Q: How does etiquette differ from manners?

Wagner: Manners is really all about “being mindful” of others and making them feel respected and valued. Etiquette is more or less the “how to” of manners—knowing what to do, how to do it, and when to do it. To illustrate, let me give you several examples. We all know it’s “good manners” to make business introductions. The “etiquette” is to say the name and firm of the most senior person first. It’s good manners to give a handshake. The etiquette is to extend your hand with the fingers out and thumb up and connect web to web with two firm pumps (no limp fish handshakes!). It’s good manners to entertain a prospect for lunch. Proper etiquette includes seating your guest correctly (to the right of the host), navigating the place setting (start with the outer silverware and work in), making menu suggestions to discreetly show the limits of your hospitality, and insuring that your guest’s order is taken first.

Good etiquette skills are vital for any firm to be competitive—to get new sales and to enjoy strong repeat business. These are the skills that set professionals apart and firms apart from their competition, no matter what service they offer.

Q: Do the terms professional etiquette and sales etiquette have any special meaning to you and to what extent does each differ from regular old etiquette?

Wagner: Professional etiquette and sales etiquette are both subsets of business etiquette. Especially in today’s economic climate, it’s vital that every member and associate of a firm have a fully equipped tool box of business etiquette knowledge.  “Professional etiquette” refers to ways you deal with others in your profession, such as the way an accountant, whom a client has replaced with another firm, provides information on the account to his replacements.  “Sales etiquette” refers to how you manage sales interactions, such as how you talk with a prospective client whom you meet at a social gathering and who is not looking for a sales pitch. “Regular old etiquette” is vital for a polished image, and includes sending appropriate thank you notes, standing for a handshake, and knowing when and how to offer your business card.

Q: Can you cite an example where etiquette made a difference in the sale of a professional service?

Wagner: I chose not to use a certain financial planning firm after my initial phone inquiry did not result in a timely call back with the information requested. Not only that, another associate of the firm was repeatedly unresponsive to my emails. In fact, I finally had to call and ask if my email questions had been received.  Of course, this is poor service, but it is also inconsiderate.  Even if a professional isn’t interested in a person’s business, proper etiquette dictates that the person receive a prompt and polite response.  Poor “tech etiquette” resulted in a poor first impression of this firm. I’m sure they would have done a fine job of managing my portfolio, but that initial first impression kept them from having the opportunity to prove themselves, because few of us will knowingly select an inconsiderate person to do costly and sensitive professional work.  Little things, such as timely tech-communication skills, do matter in giving a positive image of a firm!

Q: Do you think professionals are held to a higher standard of etiquette than other business people?

Wagner: I think it’s assumed that anyone wearing a suit has a high etiquette IQ—and most do. Because professionals are highly educated, expected to be intelligent, and are perceived to hold high status positions, lapses in etiquette can be seen as arrogance or patronization.  You don’t want to get labeled as a stereotypical arrogant, elitist, self-absorbed professional.

Not everyone who climbs the professional career ladder in a firm is necessarily equipped with the etiquette and social skills to match their new level of influence and leadership. For example, at a Chamber of Commerce event, I observed professional higher-ups with less than impeccable table manners. These same professionals also rudely pecked away on their BlackBerry during the meeting and in a face-to-face conversation with someone.

Q: What rules of etiquette would you most want a professional about to attend an association event to remember?

Wagner: Research shows that approximately 75 percent of us have anxiety about attending an event in which we must meet and greet and make small talk with others. These four rules of etiquette can help make association events less stressful and can enhance your visibility, credibility, and profitability.

1. Remind yourself that you go to the event as a representative of your firm, a walking, talking demonstration of what it might be like to work with.  Yes, greet your peers, but don’t hang out with them all evening.   Remind yourself that it is your responsibility to make sure the people you talk with come away feeling good about you and the firm.  This is usually more a function of asking them questions about something they are interested in, addressing them by name, making sure that everyone in a group has a chance to be heard, than saying something profound yourself.
2. Prepare for the event.  There is proper etiquette for introducing yourself and others, for starting conversations, for breaking into groups, for taking your leave from a conversation, and for dinner table conversation, as examples.  Look into how to handle these things if you are unsure.  My e-newsletter, The Savvy Professional (which you can sign up for at www.EtiquetteTrainer.com), covers many such topics and there are a number of good books on the subject.
3. Don’t head straight to the food and beverage area when you arrive. First mix and mingle. The food is secondary. And when you do go through the food line, never pile your plate. It’s better to eat something before you go than to appear too hungry. An additional tip is to hold your food or beverage in your left hand so that your right hand is always free for a handshake when you meet or greet others.
4. Afterwards drop quick notes to people you met, showing that you remember something special about them.

Q: How do you determine appropriate etiquette in fast changing areas like the internet and social networking?

Wagner: You have to observe, read and research.  (A good book on the subject is The Hamster Revolution: How to Manage Your Email Before It Manages You by Mike Song, Tim Burress and Vicki Halsey.)  I have three suggestions that will help you steer a course even in this rapidly changing area:

1. Don’t be misled by the reputation that email and other forms of electronic communication have for informality.  They are rapidly gaining formality, at least in business circles. When in doubt, err on the side of more formality for a positive image of your firm’s brand–in your emails and on professional networking sites such as LinkedIn.
2. Recognize which of two kinds of exchange you are engaged in, either a conversation with a lot of rapid back-and-forthing or a more deliberate correspondence.  The latter requires more formality. But, good writing style is mandatory in all business emails, including proper spelling (that includes no texting language), grammar, and punctuation.
3. Don’t mistake informality with lack of personal consideration.  Always begin an email with a salutation, if only the person’s first name.  As a best practice, include “dear” or “hello” before the person’s name, especially to business associates, prospective clients, and clients. Except in rapid exchanges, such as when you are back-and-forthing over a meeting date, always include at least a brief personal note, such as It’s good to hear you are doing well or Congratulations on the … or Give so-and-so my best or the like.  Always close with your name.  There are many more tech etiquette rules and the number of those rules is expanding rapidly.

In a previous post I described professionals who wanted to hire business developers instead of doing the hard work of getting business, themselves. These people don’t think like partners, because they want to abrogate the single most critical responsibility of an owner in hard times, making sure there is a flow of work to maintain the staff and pay the rent. *

Contrast these people to Cleo. A year or two away from being put up for partner, she already thinks like an owner. She established herself as a high potential employee when the economy was hot by doing excellent work in large quantities and mentoring junior professionals. She also built a small, but productive network that feeds her new business. A staff member at one name corporation goes out of her way to find Cleo opportunities at the company.

Last fall, as the cold hand of recession gripped her firm, Cleo asked to have much of her client work reassigned to others who were under-utilized, so that she could devote more time to finding new business. She has found it tougher going than she had expected and hasn’t generated as much revenue as she had hoped. Even so, she has increased her already substantial respect among some key partners. She thinks like one of them.

* Note: Business developers can be hugely valuable to a firm. Here I refer to a partner’s recommendation to hire one as a way to avoid revenue responsibility, himself.

Several years ago some friends formed a firm and asked for advice on generating business. “Should we hire a full-time business developer?” one asked. “No,” I answered. “We’re all busy with our clients. It’s hard to make time for anything else. In that case, doesn’t it make sense to hire a dedicated business developer?” he responded. “No,” I said.

We talked about other things for a while, like the urgency to generate revenue. As I was about to leave, one friend said again, “Hiring a business developer seems to make a lot of sense.” “So, go ahead and hire one,” I responded somewhat curtly. Taken aback, my friends asked me why I thought it was a bad idea. “Because you own this problem,” I said. “Generating revenue will determine whether you and your firm succeed or fail, and none of you wants to own the problem. But, like it or not, you own it. You can’t off load it onto someone else.” Had even one of the three been an aggressive business getter, my advice might have been different. A business developer might complement their efforts, but never replace them.

I was reminded of this exchange yesterday, when a practice head at a mid-sized firm faced with declining revenue suggested hiring a business developer. I will call him James. James has probably worked for the firm for fifteen years and knows hundreds of former clients. Others in the firm say that many of these clients worship him. Adjusting for the obvious hyperbole, I have no doubt this is true. He is brilliant and kind and extends himself for his clients, should they make the smallest request. He knows his business cold. Yet, once these people become former clients, he never calls them, nor lifts a finger to get more business. A business developer might actually pick up the receiver and dial, but how empty the calls would be compared the ones James could have.

When business falls off in a downturn, you can count on someone suggesting hiring a professional business developer. And, sometimes it makes sense to do so. More often it is simply a professional’s attempt to avoid responsibility for sales. People who do that aren’t thinking like partners.

(My next post will address when it might be a good idea to hire a business developer.)

In a previous post, an exchange of comments among Andy Hoye, David Harkleroad and me brought to mind an issue that has troubled me over the years. As noted in many posts (see, for example, Mark Buckshon, Bob Burg or Tim Klabunde) on many blogs and as I have described in my books, networking is based on the belief that if you help people, the help will eventually be returned by some of them in the form of new business and referrals.

Though in each case you may give without expectation of return, it is consciously a numbers game; you count on some people giving back some of the time. You may give generously to many, but you also give sagaciously, looking for opportunities to give to buyers and influencers. You seek out stable, mutually beneficial relationships where you give back and forth over the years.

My question: At what point does this sort of mutual help cross the line and become unethical?

The term, reciprocity, doesn’t have negative connotations to most of us, but it certainly does in the professional purchasing world of corporate buyers. That should caution us, because ethics in buying behaviors is central to that profession. Earlier in my career I knew a facilities manager at a large corporation, whose handicapped son drove a specially designed van donated by a group of suppliers to the company on a major building project. Each had anteed up a part of the cost. Generous, yes, even heartwarming, but I cannot believe that accepting this gift didn’t have some impact on his judgment when making decisions about hiring professionals, thereafter.

We can, of course, draw a continuum between buying a cup of coffee and buying a beach house. And money isn’t always involved in the exchange. In recent posts I described how to help a contact’s child find a job. I like giving this kind of help—who doesn’t enjoy helping a young person get started in the world—and have never been given business after doing this, but I am aware of how grateful parents are for this help. Bluntly, I am asking, when does help become a bribe?

This is not just an issue with clients and prospective clients. In a previous post I wrote that ethical concerns about referral fees keep me from accepting them. But is a referral fee so different from a relationship based on back-and-forth referrals? I always refer people who I believe to be of high caliber and right for the client need, but I also refer those first who have been helpful to me.

Enough agonizing. What do you think?

Every other Thursday, I present a rainmaking problem for which I don’t have satisfactory answers. Here is another in our series brought to me at a coaching session by a professional whom I will call Hazel. I have seen this problem before and always have been uncomfortable with my answers. I hope you will offer your suggestions in the comments at the end of this post.

Hazel made partner at her firm about a year ago, after two back-to-back years of delivering over $3,000,000 in new business. Her biggest client in both years was an insurance company, where her primary sponsor was a man named Bill. Bill had also hired her to work on five matters already this year. Yesterday he called to inform her that he had been let go and set up a time to meet with her next week.

Hazel dreads this meeting. She knows she owes Bill a lot and wants to help him, both because she feels she has a debt to repay and because he has three small children at home. But she is reluctant to introduce him to her other clients.

After three years of working with him, she is all too familiar with his weaknesses. Though nice enough, he makes many sloppy mistakes and frequently fails to follow through on his commitments. A high-maintenance client, he requires constant attention and also takes criticism poorly.

There are ethical and practical aspects to her problem.

• The ethical problem: She owes Bill a huge debt. Without his business she would not have been promoted to partner. He has also served unfailingly as a reference. She made a significant mistake on one assignment for him, which he caught and dealt with generously. On the other hand, she also is indebted to the people he will want introductions to. And she owes her other clients and contacts fair treatment, too. She is uncomfortable giving Bill her implicit endorsement in a referral.

• The practical problem: She is most concerned about the ethical issues, but is naturally aware of the practical ones. Bill has already stated that he will give her business no matter where he lands. That pledge, she knows, would not withstand Bill realizing that she was withholding aid during his job search. If she refers him to another client who hires him, that client is bound to become aware of his shortcomings. If the new job doesn’t work out and he is let go, it could reflect badly on her.

I have been in a similar situation, myself, and felt as torn as Hazel does. What should a professional do in this situation?

(Got a problem selling professional services? Feel free to email me your problem and it may become a future “Rainmaking Problem.”)

In previous posts, Seven Things to Remember About a Senior Executive’s Secretary and Getting Help from Executives’ Assistants, I described how to get help from a client’s administrative assistant. In simple terms, I described how to develop a relationship with her that benefits her boss, her and you.

Some rainmakers delegate this responsibility to their own assistants, and so obtain several benefits. First and foremost, it frees up their own time for other marketing and sales activities. Second, it allows a peer-to-peer relationship between the assistants, which is often stronger than one you can create. Third, it results in a higher and better use their time. Many will recognize this and take pride in the contribution they are making.

As one executive recruiter who has started up several new offices for his firm puts it, “The assistant is fifty percent of your productivity. I am a little disorganized and chaotic, so I need an assistant who is organized and disciplined. I expect her to develop a relationship with the assistants of my key contacts, even though they never meet.”

If you choose to try this approach:

• Review the two posts with her. (There is more on developing relationships with admins in Chapter 7 of my book, Rain Making-2nd Edition.)
• Help her practice by role playing several calls with her. Do it over the phone, sitting in different rooms. First, have her play the role of the client’s assistant, while you demonstrate how you would obtain her help in scheduling a meeting with her (fictitious) boss. Then, you play the client’s assistant and let her practice on you several times.
• Select some low risk targets in the market you sell to and have her try what she has learned with them.
• Give her some targets and goals and get her started.
• Give her a small budget for an occasional lunch with the clients’ assistants or to buy them flowers on special occasions.
• When you come back from a meeting she scheduled for you, always let her know how it went. Always do this. She needs the information and it is also a courtesy to a valued team member whom you want to keep motivated. And if a meeting results in a win, make sure she participates in the celebration.

In an earlier post I listed seven things to remember when dealing with executives’ secretaries. Here are some things you can do to put that knowledge to use:

• Keep your goal aligned with hers and remind her that this is the case by saying things like, “I want to make sure that I use [your boss’s] time well.”

• Let her help you achieve this shared goal by seeking her advice. “I sense from talking to some of my contacts in the company that x is an issue in several parts of the organization. Do you know if he feels that way? Do you think he might be open to talking about it?”

• Keep your goal aligned with hers and remind her that this is the case by saying things like, “I want to make sure that I use [your boss’s] time well.”Let her help you achieve this shared goal by seeking her advice. “I sense from talking to some of my contacts in the company that x is an issue in several parts of the organization. Do you know if he feels that way? Do you think he might be open to talking about it?”

• Also, seek her judgment. “If you wouldn’t mind, I will send the email to you first, and if you don’t think it would interest him, please don’t forward it to him. I don’t want to waste his time.” “I am planning to bring our tax specialist with me, unless you sense that [your boss] would rather meet one-on-one. What do you think?”

• Show gratitude and interest. Verbal thank-yous, thank you notes, notes to a administrative assistant’s boss commending her, and flowers are all ways to show your appreciation for help. Praise will mean more if specific rather than general. (“Your advice on x saved hours of work, helping us meet the tight schedule.”) Equally important are showing interest in her children and spouse, and in her health and well-being as you would any other business friend.

Assistants to executives want to help their bosses use time productively and efficiently. They can help you do the same if you give them a chance.

To get in front of a senior executive, you often have to go through a secretary. When working with such a person always remember:

1. Without her help, the chances of getting a meeting are slim.
2. She is a lot more experienced with meeting-getting tactics than you are.
3. She is smart and well paid. There is a good chance that she is at least as smart as you are.
4. She knows more about the executive and his interests than almost anyone.
5. Ditto about the company.
6. She wants to help the right people get on the boss’s agenda. It’s your job to convince her that you are one of those people.
7. Most are predisposed to be helpful in ways beyond getting a meeting with the boss, if you let them.
8. She will likely keep her job longer than the boss does.

Of course, it isn’t necessarily a she.

There must be things to add to this list. Any suggestions?

Among the people I am now coaching are two expecting mothers at different firms. Both are first time mothers. One made partner last year and the other hopes to be put up for partnership within the next couple of years. Both want to know what they can do to minimize the loss of momentum during maternity leave.

Surely, there are readers better qualified to answer this question than I. To be honest, I usually refer these cases to my partner, Mimi Spangler. Mimi suggests that it often helps to think in terms of things you can do in the three stages of maternity leave:

1. Before: How do you prepare your contacts for your absence and prepare yourself to maintain market awareness during your leave.
2. During: What must you do at minimum and what additional might you do.
3. After: How do you speed up your reentry into the market.

You men would do well to read the responses, too, because you may one day be married to or managing someone with this question. You may take a leave of absence, yourself, some day and have a similar concern.

What would you advise these women to do? Feel free to comment on all three of the stages or just on one or two.  In your comment please let us know of the kind of professional firm you work for.