Last month in behalf of a reader I posted a Rainmaker Problem, requesting suggestions about how to make a referral.  A couple of readers responded with good ideas, but not many, probably because you were busy with pre-holiday activities.

The subject is an important one, so here are a few suggestions for requesting referrals:

• Pick the right moment.  There are times when you are much more likely to get the help you want than others.  This was the subject of an earlier post, so I will not repeat that discussion here.
• Make it easy for the client to help you.  Broad requests, like Would you consider referring us to others who might need our services?, may get yes for an answer, but they place a large burden on the client to figure you who might be a good contact for you and how to bring up your services.  That’s why they so often produce no result.  You can make it easier for the client by:

1. Being specific:  A request for a referral to the CFO or head of the Consumer Products Division or someone in a senior position at Trigestis Pharmaceuticals is much easier for the client to focus on than a broad plea for help.  Alternatively, you can ask for an introduction to someone with a specific issue with words like Can you think of anyone you know who might also be facing executive succession problems? or Do you know anyone else who handles insurance recovery problems for his company?
2. Make it clear that you aren’t asking too much.  The open ended request for introductions can, and often is, perceived as asking for access to all of a client’s contacts.  That can be off-putting.  Be clear that you aren’t asking for too much.  One rainmaker I know would ask if a client would be willing to make introductions for him and when the client agreed, would follow up with these words:  Could I make a suggestion?  Would you be willing to scan through your contact list and note down ten or a dozen people you know who might benefit from our services? After you do that, we could sit down and talk about them and, together, pick out one or two to target.  If you are uncomfortable with that language, try these words:  Thanks.  That’s awfully kind of you.  Even one or two introductions would be a big help.
3. Provide some language that the client might use when making the introduction.  This saves the client time coming up with the right approach and makes him more effective at getting you in the door.  You can use words like these:  We find that people dealing with international litigation often respond well when someone says, “If you even need a rock-solid, expert witness on transfer pricing issues, you might want to talk with Brenda Smith.  She helped us on . . .” Or you can help your client filter out good introductions form bad ones with words like We find that if you ask someone if they are interested in green design and that they say they are, it is easy to get them to agree to a meeting with us.

• Don’t put the client on the spot.  Show that you recognize that the client many choose to back away from an introduction with words like Timing is everything, so if you bring up the subject and feel that this isn’t the time to introduce us, don’t even try.  I trust your judgment on this completely.  This is especially important if the client shows even the slightest hesitation about making a specific introduction.  Asking for advice rather than an introduction is another way to reduce pressure:  I want to meet Joe Smith.  Do you have any suggestions for the best way to do that?
• Keep the client informed about what happens.  Always notify the client about how the introduction went, whether or not it was a success.  If the introduction turns into new business for you a year later, it is still important to let the client know what happened, because it shows you acknowledge the help he provided, and so reinforces the behavior.
• Be thankful.  This should be done whether or not the introduction is successful.

Do any of you have additional ideas?

A reader has asked me to post the following question:  What are some good ways to ask for a referral? What would you suggest?

(This post in another in our series of Rainmaking Problems. We invite your comments on this problem and would also welcome any problems you would like to s to get comments form other readers.)

An attorney, whom I will call Larry Polonisen, has sent in the following problem, one common enough in networking and well worth reflecting on.  How can he continue to take, if he has nothing to lend?  What would you do?

Hello, I am a faithful reader of your blog.

I have a suggestion for a post there (which I need to frankly admit is also a request for free advice).  The question is what to do when a contact gives you a couple of good referrals of business, and makes known (appropriately) that he expects referrals in return, but such reciprocal referrals are unlikely to ever happen (for lots of reasons not the least of which is that other better sources are in line for reciprocals before this person).  

The choices seem to be 1) tell the referral source that reciprocals are very unlikely, 2) actively search for things to refer, 3) assure the person (honestly) that if something comes along that can be referred to him it will be.  The first choice seems good in the abstract but horrible in the real world as it likely cuts off a referral source.  The second is again great, except that there is a higher priority for any referrals in this area and also because I get hardly any of matters in the referrers area (or I would be in that area myself).  The third seems the best, but if nothing gets referred, the referring lawyer ends up feeling taken advantage of.

I suppose that there might be a fourth choice (at least in my jurisdiction) is to offer the referrer a (legal) referral fee (perhaps coupled with the explanation under alternative 1).  What do you think?

Thanks very much.  I enjoy and use the information on you blog.

A Canadian friend recently brought a problem to me that is common enough to warrant a comment: the unproductive network.  Margareta, for so I will call her, has built a substantial network and works hard at maintaining it, but it generates only a dribble of leads.

If this happens, ask yourself three questions:

Am I networking with the right people?

Long ago a colleague of mine worked an association for two years.  She was welcomed, cultivated, wined and dined at the annual meetings.   Popular because of her personality and potential to pass out leads to the other members, she got attention, but little else in return.  On reflection she realized that few of the members would ever be in a position to give her leads.  She refocused her efforts elsewhere and had more success.

Ask yourself if your network contains enough buyers of your services and people who have influence with buyers.  If not, you must find ways to meet and stay in front of such people and reallocate your time to those activities.

Do they know what I do?

Yes, at some level they know, but how fresh and accurate is that knowledge?  Two weeks ago, I missed an opportunity to make a referral to a friend, because I didn’t see the client’s request as something he would help with.  Fortunately, he got the introduction through another channel.

I was embarrassed, and realized that I hadn’t reviewed the kind of work he did with him for over a year.  Shame on me.  Shame on him.  “We’re seeing an uptick in healthcare work.”  “We are getting a lot of requests to help renegotiate contracts.”  Remind your contacts of what you do with brief statements like these.  Sit with them from time to time to refresh your understanding of what each other do.

 But don’t, don’t, assume that they know.

Do they know what I want?

Never assume that your contacts know you want referrals, either.  Never make that assumption.  If you don’t make it clear that you want referrals, you won’t get any.  “Right now we could use a client in the casualty insurance industry.” “The revenue cliff is a little closer than we like to see it.”  “We’re busy, though, of course, we are always interested in new clients.”  “Our lead flow is down.  How about yours?”  Your words should remind your contacts of your interest in new business.

Reviewing these questions with Margareta, we developed some language she could use to make it easier for her contacts to recognize opportunities for her.  She will also make it clearer that she wants referrals.  Let’s see what happens.

In a previous post, an exchange of comments among Andy Hoye, David Harkleroad and me brought to mind an issue that has troubled me over the years. As noted in many posts (see, for example, Mark Buckshon, Bob Burg or Tim Klabunde) on many blogs and as I have described in my books, networking is based on the belief that if you help people, the help will eventually be returned by some of them in the form of new business and referrals.

Though in each case you may give without expectation of return, it is consciously a numbers game; you count on some people giving back some of the time. You may give generously to many, but you also give sagaciously, looking for opportunities to give to buyers and influencers. You seek out stable, mutually beneficial relationships where you give back and forth over the years.

My question: At what point does this sort of mutual help cross the line and become unethical?

The term, reciprocity, doesn’t have negative connotations to most of us, but it certainly does in the professional purchasing world of corporate buyers. That should caution us, because ethics in buying behaviors is central to that profession. Earlier in my career I knew a facilities manager at a large corporation, whose handicapped son drove a specially designed van donated by a group of suppliers to the company on a major building project. Each had anteed up a part of the cost. Generous, yes, even heartwarming, but I cannot believe that accepting this gift didn’t have some impact on his judgment when making decisions about hiring professionals, thereafter.

We can, of course, draw a continuum between buying a cup of coffee and buying a beach house. And money isn’t always involved in the exchange. In recent posts I described how to help a contact’s child find a job. I like giving this kind of help—who doesn’t enjoy helping a young person get started in the world—and have never been given business after doing this, but I am aware of how grateful parents are for this help. Bluntly, I am asking, when does help become a bribe?

This is not just an issue with clients and prospective clients. In a previous post I wrote that ethical concerns about referral fees keep me from accepting them. But is a referral fee so different from a relationship based on back-and-forth referrals? I always refer people who I believe to be of high caliber and right for the client need, but I also refer those first who have been helpful to me.

Enough agonizing. What do you think?

Every other Thursday, I present a rainmaking problem for which I don’t have satisfactory answers. Here is another in our series brought to me at a coaching session by a professional whom I will call Hazel. I have seen this problem before and always have been uncomfortable with my answers. I hope you will offer your suggestions in the comments at the end of this post.

Hazel made partner at her firm about a year ago, after two back-to-back years of delivering over $3,000,000 in new business. Her biggest client in both years was an insurance company, where her primary sponsor was a man named Bill. Bill had also hired her to work on five matters already this year. Yesterday he called to inform her that he had been let go and set up a time to meet with her next week.

Hazel dreads this meeting. She knows she owes Bill a lot and wants to help him, both because she feels she has a debt to repay and because he has three small children at home. But she is reluctant to introduce him to her other clients.

After three years of working with him, she is all too familiar with his weaknesses. Though nice enough, he makes many sloppy mistakes and frequently fails to follow through on his commitments. A high-maintenance client, he requires constant attention and also takes criticism poorly.

There are ethical and practical aspects to her problem.

• The ethical problem: She owes Bill a huge debt. Without his business she would not have been promoted to partner. He has also served unfailingly as a reference. She made a significant mistake on one assignment for him, which he caught and dealt with generously. On the other hand, she also is indebted to the people he will want introductions to. And she owes her other clients and contacts fair treatment, too. She is uncomfortable giving Bill her implicit endorsement in a referral.

• The practical problem: She is most concerned about the ethical issues, but is naturally aware of the practical ones. Bill has already stated that he will give her business no matter where he lands. That pledge, she knows, would not withstand Bill realizing that she was withholding aid during his job search. If she refers him to another client who hires him, that client is bound to become aware of his shortcomings. If the new job doesn’t work out and he is let go, it could reflect badly on her.

I have been in a similar situation, myself, and felt as torn as Hazel does. What should a professional do in this situation?

(Got a problem selling professional services? Feel free to email me your problem and it may become a future “Rainmaking Problem.”)

A reader sent me the following question: 

What’s your opinion on referral fees? I’ve just paid my first one to get some business - it was just over 10% of the first project. All fees that come after it will be my own. For years I’ve been practicing good karma, believing that what goes around comes around. But your opinion on this would be very helpful.

This is an important issue.  Here is my response.  I would welcome others:

Referral fees are a complex subject.  In some areas of business they are a standard procedure, and, being so, it is reasonable to assume the client knows about them.  So, when an accountant retires, he often charges his successor to the account for the referral.  In other areas, this isn’t true.  I do not pay referral fees, because I do not think it ethical to accept a payment for a referral unless the client knows about the exchange.  Otherwise, I would be misleading him to believe that my referral was impartial.  Not wanting to explain that, I simply decline to give or receive such fees. 
 
If the client knows that there is money in the deal for the referrer and has no qualms about it, I don’t see why anyone else should care.  But, be careful, even then.  There can be legal issues.  Especially if you are selling your services to governments, check with a lawyer before accepting or giving any referral fees. 
 
To avoid the ethical problems sometimes associated with referral fees, if there is a financial aspect to an introduction, I will set it up as a subcontractor relationship.  A financial exchange is implicit in such an arrangement and the client need not know the details–nor has one ever asked.
 
I hope this helps.
 

After the rainmaking teleseminar I did with Kristina Haynes we received the following question from Jennifer Bell of Placet Dispute Resolution. Jennifer agreed to let us answer it here (and Kristina will probably post additional advice on her blog.)

Jennifer’s question:

What is the best way to follow up on a referral? I am a mediator. I will get calls for service and be asked for my CV. I will then be told by the lawyer that he/she will contact the other side and get back to me. I assume that there are other mediator under consideration. I am not shy to follow up once but am uncomfortable making more than one call on a particular matter. What is the best way to follow-up more than once without seeming pushy?

My answer:

That’s a good question. There are two issues here: 1) there is the practical issue of getting through to the referrer, and 2) there is the feeling you have that calling more than once is being pushy.

Let’s deal with the second one first. I don’t believe you will be or be seen as pushy if you leave a day between your first call and second calls. Rather, I think the lawyer may feel that you aren’t that interested if you don’t call again. I am assuming that you have no further information that your call is somehow unwanted than the man hasn’t returned your calls. In that case what is going on in his head is unknown and therefore irrelevant to perceived pushiness.

What is going on in yours is highly relevant. You are acting as if you can read this lawyer’s mind. Hearing him say “Oh, it’s that pushy Jennifer again!” stops you in your tracks. But, of course, he didn’t say that, at least not to our knowledge. It must be coming from within you. Of all the thousands of possible thoughts he could have when he hears your voice why do you pick out “Pushy?” I will stop there, or risk getting arrested for practicing psychiatry without a license. I will add that I am a real pro at mind reading, myself. If you have any doubts about that see my post entitled Dealing with Unreturned Phone Calls.

It may sound as if I had you in mind when I wrote it, but it’s been up there since April. I also recommend a book, Learned Optimism by Martin Seligman.

Now, let’s go back to Issue One: How do you get through to this lawyer? Here are some things you can do alone of in combination with each other.

a) Call again . . . and again. A second call 24 or more hours after the first, is perfectly reasonable. One more a week out is fine. I would do more, but won’t push you that fast yet.

b) Leave a message explaining why you need an update quickly: “It’s Jennifer. I was calling to see if you had any word on the mediation. I’m juggling a few things and was wondering if that opportunity is still open. I would very much like to work on it and a little information might help ensure that that remains possible.”

c) Try a different medium. Some people respond better to emails.

d) Ask his assistant for advice, stressing the fact that he said he would bet back to you. She may be able to put you through to him, retrieve an answer, or provide an explanation. (This can help validate or not your mind reading. I was sure one guy hated me when he didn’t return my calls for two weeks. When I asked his secretary for advice, she told me he was in the hospital dying of cancer. Poor man, in his final pain he taught me an important message of how, rightly, inconsequential I am in most people’s lives. It helped me get over any musings I had about being important enough that my calls are seen as pushy.)

The words you say today can hurt you in the future.
 

Many professionals are so busy these days that they obsess about their workloads.  This is especially true of those who are just below partner level.  These people are the backbone of a professional firm.  They run many engagements and are responsible for quality control.  In a hot economy, they bill sixty to seventy hours a week, and often more.  They also have many non-billable responsibilities, such as interviewing job candidates, training recent hires, and representing their office, practice or studio on committees.  It’s no wonder they are obsessed with the workload.
 

One result of this condition is the devaluation of leads (see my posting May 7, 2007, “The Lead Glut and Its Consequences”). If they think about leads at all, professionals in these circumstances are likely to dread them, because they can’t handle additional work and dislike turning a client away.  When a client or other business contact asks how things are going, many of these people and many partners, too, are likely to respond with words like:
 

–I’ve never seen it so good in all my years in the profession.
–Our biggest need right now is for more people. 
–We’re running flat out. This is the best year we’ve ever had.
 And even:
 

–A little less work might even be a good thing.
 

I caught myself using this last sentence not long ago.
 

These statements are all true and also advertise the demand for your services, but they have a drawback:  They can discourage a contact from referring business your way.
 

If you have been in the professions for long, you know how quickly business conditions can change.  Within two or three months you can go from hardly being able to keep your head above water to standing high up on the beach with an ebb tide taking the water further and further away.  Because it takes time to convert a referral into lead and a lead into a new assignment, the claims you made two months ago that put off a referral can deprive you of a lead today, when you really need it.
 

That’s why, in good times and in bad, some savvy old professionals always say
 

–We’re always looking for more work, though . . .
 

These are words worth remembering.  True rainmakers are always looking for more work.
 

I have been reviewing several books on selling. Most advise us to ask clients for referrals, but that’s a thing more easily said than done. There’s a lot more meaning packed into the word, “referral,” than its brevity suggests. In most areas in the professions it means we are asking our clients to remember what we do well enough that they recognize opportunities for us when they are out in the market place, refer prospective clients to us, endorse us, and inform us of things that give us an edge over competitors. That’s asking a lot of anyone.

A few people will do these things without our asking. But spontaneous giving of this type is rare. Most of the time, we do have to ask. And there’s the rub.
Asking favors of this kind makes us uncomfortable. It’s asking a lot. Our clients are busy people. They have problems of their own and are paying us for the work we do, and so owe us nothing. We don’t want to burden then with our problems. Nor do we want to seem mercenary about our relationships with them.

Succeeding at this delicate task requires good timing and technique.
Let’s start with when.

An accountant, who is one of the biggest rainmakers in his firm, was the first to explain to me the best time to ask for a referral. He advised me that whenever someone is happy with you, you are in a position to ask a favor. Yes, you are being paid for the work you are doing, but clients who are really pleased with what you have done like to do something that will help you personally, too.

A recruiter was saying the same thing, when he told me that just after a search is completed, when everyone is happy with the candidate and your contribution is fresh in their minds, is the time to ask for a referral.
Now, let’s move to how.